Katrina Farris

“The Windows of our life”

In memory of Bernice Carlyle Culp

I am looking down this long hallway.
It is well lighted, but toward the end it looks dark.
As I start walking, I notice a window to the left.
I see a nice happy family with a cute little baby boy.
The parents look so proud, so happy, so secure.
I stand, and watch for awhile. Then decide to move on.

I notice another window on the right.
There I see a young boy around seven with his father.
He is trying to teach the boy how to ride a bike.
There will be bumps and bruises,
but his father will always be there for him.
I think back to how you are at that age.
Full of ambition, dreams, and imagination.
You are so full of life. I decide to move on and

to the left I notice a young man getting married.
The couple looks so happy, and so sure of themselves.
Full of dreams and goals, and excited to start a new life together.
As I think, I remember that same feeling inside, full of love.
I think for one more moment, and decide to move
farther down the hall. The lights are starting to dim a bit.
I look to the right and notice this particular window.

The same couple before, with children now.
They seem so happy, so safe, and secure.
You can tell they have had some hard times,
but the love pulls them through why
they are trying to do the best they can.

The next window I see their children have grown,
and have their own children, and their own lives.
The family very much stays in touch and is very happy.
The lights are dimming even more now.
I am starting to get tired, but I move on to another window.

The grandparents are great-grandparents now
and love every moment of it they can.
They spoil all their grandchildren and try to help them
in any way they can. They show their love to everyone,
and are very happy with how their life has been.

The couple is still very much in love as the same day they met.
I notice a room with a warm loving feeling in it.
I decide to go lay down. As I close my eyes, I remember
all the windows I walked by, and I am smiling.

Then I notice a bright light. One last window is opening.
I reach up for it! It feels so warm, and so safe.
I decide to go in. Starting all over I see the windows,
I will always be watching in those windows,
and keeping a hand over them, and always
they will be in my heart!

The Gift

In my driveway sits an old, gray, rusted john boat.
A gift from my father that hold several childhood memories.
In my eyes now I see junk, but in my husband's . . .
he sees a dream to be able to troll along the blue water
in a little cove and fish with his sons. I see a hole
wondering how they won’t sink; they see
hard work will fix anything. This is my husband’s new project,
and my new worry. Hey, Thanks Dad!

The War

Anger, Grief, Fear, and Love I felt the day you left me.
You help your head high and marched off to your call of duty.
Will our young love make it?
As a proud wife I displayed the flag, and thought of you.
But late at night I cried a river that could have brought you back to me.
The news of bombing, and of gunfire increased my worry, and wait for your call.
Late in the night a ring of the phone, and your sweet voice was enough to pull me through.
AT LAST the call saying your were coming home!
Our love never failed during those long months.
Sweet memories surround me when I think of you.

Unspoken Drive

Abused and neglected childhood
Leaving her feeling unworthy, unable to trust
A low sense of worth
A chance meeting
Love at first sight
Triumph
Full time job, three children, and busy schedules never waivers her
To push to achieve, with a fear of failure is her drive
One day to be somebody, to accomplish a goal
Prove that she can make it, and mean something in this unkind world
She will earn her degree-the first in her family
Proud, honor, and love pulls her through
The past may haunt her
Critical eyes watch her
But, she will make it!

Chaos, children crying
Hail beating against me
Wind roaring in my ears
As I gather my children
A mad dash to the neighbors basement

I lay and watch you sleep
Your face so sweet and innocent
Why do you love me?
You know my faults,
And still you love me

He stands alone
Grief and failure, again!
When will he learn
I love him
Does he have the strength to start over?

Death knocked
In our family, again!
How much can he take
He stand strong
With tears in his eyes

Alarm beeping again
Same schedule daily
Is it Saturday yet?
Children fighting, bacon sizzling
These are my Monday-Friday routines

The rain had come again
My mood is grim
When will the sun shine?
My Daffodils look,
As I feel

Yelling, and hitting
has started again
The smell of rum on her breath
I close my eyes
God, please help me

Hold me
My eyes are red and swollen
Love me
The pain is to much
Please, accept me

I am a battered soul
To see me
Is to see a woman
Inside I am yelling
For understanding, acceptance, and love

Drifting family members
Reunite
Memories remain
Tears, and laughter shared
A funeral

Child
Each has a different view
We gather talking, remembering
Confusion, to bring it together
Memories

Click, save
14 weeks of work
One word
VIRUS
Computer techs are gods

Those big trusting eyes,
Only I could care this deeply for you.
Your sweet smell,
Makes me breathe deeper.

You hold my heart.
Your hugs,
Melt my heart.
Your kisses,
Makes they day shine brighter.

You hold my heart
Your singing,
Makes me laugh
Your tears,
Make me worry.

You hold my heart
So innocent,
You are sleeping
The memories,
Will always remain.

You are my love times three,
Always you will hold my heart.