Aaron Ottis

Essay on Longterm Writing Aims

I write because lyrics and storytelling are the essential elements of a successful song. Not necessarily music, but the song of life.

I write because I am afraid of what I might do instead. We all want to be somewhere else, with someone else, living a grand life that is the envy of all others. I believe this to be engrained into the soul of the modern youth--my generation--much like human depravity was engrained into the Puritan system. My comrades choose narcotics and booze to take them to their perceived paradise. I catch myself drifting further away every day...further from my friends and further from where I know I should be.

I write because I need some kind of an income. I have to pay off my student loans. I've realized that I focus on journalism because it is the easiest of all the fields that I could have pursued (for me, anyways). I do not like creative writing and I have no desire to teach. Therefore, I have begun a career in media coverage. Hunter S. Thompson had it right all along.

I write because the muse drags me from my bed at 4:30 a.m.   to teach me a lesson. I wish I could control these moments, and insert them into my life after class .

I write to find myself. I swear that this statement is the reason that I was not given scholarship money after my Honors interview. I do not mean to sound selfish or arrogant, but I refuse to think that anyone can truly affect (read 'help,' 'change,' 'influence') any other person unless they completely understand their own self.   There is a difference between 'volunteerism' and 'guiding the soul.' I'll take the latter...someday I hope to have that ability. Maybe writing will be that medium I choose to employ.

I write because it gets the bugs out from under my skin. I am able to detach from myself once the words are on the paper. No more inner arguments. My soul never sits still. Neither does that ulcer that I am constantly working on.

I write because it makes me realize that I still have weaknesses to overcome and new skills to learn. This is the only reason that I am still in school. I have this debate daily with myself. Too bad it doesn't get any easier with time.

I am not going to stand (sit, actually) here and preach about my need to better mankind, to set the morals of the day, to push humanity forward, to breathe life into ink, or to gain fame and riches through unnecessary tales. I really do not want any of that. I detest it. I just want a little sanity of my own.  

I write because I need to eat.

I write because I need new guitar strings.

I write because others did before me.

I write because today is another day of rain without thunder. I am tired of watching the worms drown.

I write because my words remind me how important it is to live the time that is given to me. There is a large difference between "alive" and "living."