Hilary Disch and David Smith

Hil and Dave's Dialogue on Writing

Discussion begins w/Hilary having sent Dave a poem

Dave:   I was pleasantly surprised to have received that e-mail from you, Hilary.   I have not had the chance to read much of your work before, but what I have read I have definitely enjoyed.

Hilary:   Thanks Dave.   I don't have a lot of free time to write what would be considered "creative" pieces, and when I do I am very self-conscious of what I produce.   Because of that, I usually just end up not writing much of anything, so it's good to hear something positive about what I've written.

Dave:   Why are you so self-conscious?   Are you afraid of what others will think of your work, or is it more personal?

Hilary:   See, some people are comfortable writing all the time.   They just write and write, getting out everything they have inside without really thinking about what they are putting down, then go over it later and piece together what they like.   Others, like me, sit and think about what they want to write for a long time before committing it to paper.   Because I spend so much time thinking about it, though, I also spend a lot of time criticizing it, convincing myself it isn't good enough to put down, and I therefore end up with very little finished product.

Dave:   I know exactly what you mean, for I am often guilty of similar practices.   Before my pen touches any sheet of paper, I usually work and rework every word until I am sure it represents precisely what I want it to.   This means that I pass up a lot of really good material sometimes trying to find one particular line or word.

Hilary:   Is it because you want it to sound good for yourself, or for other people.

Dave:   For me, it's a mix of both.   I do want it to sound good to me, but I am interested in sharing my work with others as much as possible.   If I write something, I know that I will not misunderstand what I've said; if someone else reads what I've written and I have not crafted it to convey the exact meaning I intend, there is a chance someone may not quite understand what I'm trying to get across.   To me, that would be a failure.

Hilary:   I understand entirely.   You know, I've often asked myself why people share what they've written if they aren't interested in hearing what their readers have to say about it.   So many times I've heard writers say, "oh, it's my art, people just don't understand it."   If it wasn't meant to be understood or appreciated by others, why share it at all?   As writers, we seem always to be searching for an affirmation of talent.   Artists of any kind, whether writers, visual artists, and singers--people who don't have typical professions like, for example, business--don't have the same symbols of success that accompany those more common careers.   As any kind of artist, a writer can expect that he or she is not going to be extremely successful economically. Instead, therefore, we search for something else to affirm our success.

Dave:   So do you believe at all in writing simply for the self?   I find that when I write solely for myself the material seems to flow out much easier.   Things I know aren't going to be shared don't have to be as perfect, as flawless as those I know I will want to eventually show someone (the latter of which, of course, makes up most of my writing, but let's discuss the former for the sake of conversation).   I think, beyond being a talent one can share with others, writing can be an extremely calming, therapeutic activity.   I know I have often worked out problems in my own mind--philosophical beliefs I couldn't quite grasp, other such issues that have bothered me--by writing my ideas down, organizing them in a more logical, tangible medium.   I would never share any of that writing with others, yet I find it to be some of my best work.

Hilary:   For me, writing for the self is important, but it is so gratifying to see others moved by your art that I want what I write to be sharable.   I think writers and artists often want to maintain a certain mystery about them, but that they also want to reveal themselves to a certain extent.   No matter how cryptic their writing may be, I think they all, in the end, want people to work through what they've written and understand what they've written , the ideas they've tried to convey through their writing.

Dave:   So, in the end, it all comes down to self-gratification?

Hilary:   To put it rather cynically, yes.

Dave:   So tell me, what is your writing all about, Hilary?

Hilary:   A lot of it is just about myself.   I want to explore myself in the past and present.   A lot of it is self-examination, a lot of reflections on my past experiences.   I'm hoping my writing can, now and in the future, help me understand myself more clearly and give those who read my poems an accurate picture of me as well.

Dave:   I have similar hopes, especially for self-understanding.   I hope to express my concerns about myself and my family, about relationships, and about my philosophical beliefs.   I think, really, we're a lot alike, Hil.

Hilary:   But with some wonderful differences.   That's what makes it so nice talking with you.

Dave:   Indeed!