Senior Writing Portfolio January 2005 / Ann Anderson
Millikin University

Ann Anderson

Name: Ann Anderson

Date of Birth: October 2nd , 1983 (This means I'm 21)

Hometown: Chicago, IL (This means I say 'pop' and not 'soda')

Area of Study: English/Writing (This means I'm moving in with my parents)

Something I Like: Watching Movies (This means I have too much time on my hands)

In May 2005, I will be graduating from Millikin University with a Bachelor's Degree in English/Writing. It's been an interesting four years here at old MU, and I must say, the highlight has been spending a semester in London, in the country where my area of study is derived from. How delightfully ironic. Anyway, in these four years I have done it all, poetry, haiku, fiction, non-fiction, teleplays, journalism, and have found that not only do I like all of those things, but I can pull them off pretty well, if I do say so myself. Or perhaps I'm just extremely narcissistic. Because of my wide range of interest for writing, it's not surprising that some of my favorite authors range from Dave Barry to Stephen King to Candace Bushnell. As I leave Millikin behind and enter the 'real world' I am happy and confident knowing that I have a wide variety of occupations that could suit me. My dream job, of course, would be a film critic, though I'm not opposed to making millions of dollars with a hit novel one day.

Poetics

Writers become God when we write, and with our minds and hands we create ourselves on paper, having complete control over the events that transpire there, creating, emotion (and, my dear writers, is there anything as precious as creating an emotion?), creating life and death and all of the bullshit in between.

While editing must be endured, we, as Gods, choose what will remain and what will depart, who will live and who will die. Editing can either be death or a new birth for the written word. But my mind, at least, has an infallible and immaculate copy of my stories and works etched into myself forever. While the process of putting that to paper might tinge it a little, if I can capture that profound essence, I have succeeded as a writer. If I can pass on that essence to be absorbed by my readers, I have succeeded as a writer.

Introduction

This is an article I wrote for the Decaturian in October 2004. Over the course of the semester, I was to periodically write articles about the Millikin group who was staying and studying in London. I thought about writing a straightforward article, reporting our activities, but then I decided to have fun with the article and outline the cultural and verbal differences in a humorous way. I kept the style of Bill Bryson and Dave Barry in mind when I wrote this. I believe that the more fun you have writing something, the more fun someone will have reading it.

• • •

Soda or Pop

October 26, 2004

It's easy to assume that because I was traveling to England, a country where I was fluent in the language (even if I did not have the classy accent) that I would be able to converse easily with the locals and have no problem expressing myself, or what I needed or wanted.

Wrong.

British English is just a tad different than American English. First of all, they speak rather softly and quickly, so before you can try to decipher what they are saying, you must lean in like an idiot and say "Pardon?"

It is not that it is difficult to figure out what they mean, or what they are referring to when they speak, but there are definitely moments when the language barrier gets in the way. It can be, at least to me, entertaining.

If you're going to McDonald's (which is pronounced "MacDonald's") they will ask you if it is eat-in or take-away. Logically, I know that this is equivalent to "for here or to go," but speed the question up, tone down the volume and add the accent, and it sounds like "Eden or tagawey." I had no idea what I was being asked. I thought maybe an eden or a tagawey were sides or supplements to my meal, like chutney or something, so I simply said "No." The chap behind the counter looked confused and a little scared, but not nearly as much as I probably did.

And once, when I was standing at the bus stop, a couple of London teens looked at me and said, "You've got some great trainers." I, being the vain creature that I am, thought that they meant I was in peak physical form, no doubt due to some great personal trainers. Turns out, they just liked my gym shoes.

If one needs to use the bathroom, the slang term is "take a slash." For the life of me I cannot figure out where they got that one from, or what it could possibly refer to, but I like the phrase and employ it frequently in my new lexicon.

Miscommunication is not only limited to the spoken language. I've found myself in situations that are simply embarrassing.

My friend Jenn and I sat in a little restaurant for nearly 20 minutes, waiting for a server, before we realized that we had to place our orders at the register at the bar. They do have servers serve you your food, but by God, they'd never deign to write your order down for you. How dare you assume such a thing!

Ah, and then there's the glorious London Underground, a.k.a. the Tube. This fabulous system is the English equivalent to the Chicago "L," except, of course, it runs underground.

Nobody talks on the Tube. It's the quietest place in England. If you dare open your mouth, it had better be a yawn or a whisper, because actually conversing will earn you looks of scorn from nearly every passenger in the car. I've been told that the only ones who talk on the Tube are tourists or drunks, which makes me proud to be an American.

Oh, how I long for Decatur, where I can sit at Mi Pueblito and be waited on, where my roommates will give me transportation and conversation and where the only vocabulary difference I struggle with is "Soda or Pop?"

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