Senior
Writing Portfolio Fall 2005 / Emily Skaja
Millikin University |
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Emily Skaja
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Emily Skaja
Emily Skaja is the worst kind of villain. Like Bowser, she moves from land to sea to sky before you can find enough red coins to pay her off. Born June 5, 1984 to humble beginnings in a mattress warehouse in upper suburbia, Emily enjoys the simple life. She would do anything for Gatsby (her inept little dog). She can speak freely about monkeys in Flemish. She makes perfect pasta. She knits. She once bought the Narnia wardrobe at a flea market for 89 cents.
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Poetics
I've become aware that my poetry is primarily concerned with aural rhythm, unusual metaphor, and prettiness of language. When I write, I hear the syllabic construction of a line in my head first, write it down, and then try to fashion a poem around it. When I feel drawn to write a poem with an emotional cliché behind it, I try to wrap that cliché in as many layers of unique metaphor as I can. Usually this involves imagining the exact opposite of an object or emotion, and then finding a way for the two opposites to relate. But even this process leads me back to the sound quality.
For example, I frequently find myself trying to fit three- or four-syllable words in a fragment. In my head, I make arbitrary lists of words. The words filament, firmament, arrogant, sophistry, injury, enemy, agony and ruinous might all be on the same list because they all have three syllables, despite their varied meanings. I find that the goal and tone of my poem will change under the direction of whatever word I choose for the line. I trust these syllabic/aural instincts even when they take me toward unexpected destinations.
I also make lists of words I love and try to fit them into poems whenever possible. Some words/ideas that I focused on this semester include: trains, death, dreams, moths, bricks, the moon, castles, trees, night skies, blackness, madness, decay, fruit, bruises, shipwrecks, hollows, fleeing in the night, cities, cityscapes, ruins, spiders, fire, Zelda Fitzgerald, Amelia Earhart, Anna Karenina , gypsies, boxcars, war, escapism, battles, babies, families, drugs, cigarettes, and oceans. When I include any of these images in a poem or story, I feel like I've constructed a world for myself where I can live among the things that fascinate me. It's easier for me to write poems when I surround myself with these kinds of images, words, and ideas. The more elaborate the language, the better.
In a society that dismisses idealism, it is sometimes difficult to explain the reasons that creative writing is intrinsically important. I write poetry because I enjoy the process. I am wildly passionate about beautiful phrasing, creating fresh images, and shaping ideas and emotion in new and original ways. Everything else that I do is just a means of passing the time until I can write again. Writing is what makes me happiest.
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Introduction to ballet lesson
As a culture we view the elderly at arm's length. We place them in nursing homes, we make small talk when they mention the imminence of dying, and we refer to death with euphemisms and formality. We don't want to think about it until we have to. Because of this, I often find myself inventing stories to help me relate to my grandparents. From the stitched-together anecdotes of their lives, I try to find some small piece of myself in them. I try to put together an image of how they must have been when they were my age, my height, maybe with my nose and eyes, with similar fears and regrets and new experiences. That was the motivation for writing this poem, Ballet Lesson , about my grandmother, Anne Skaja. I have never shown it to her, despite its recent publication in the fall 2005 issue of Collage.
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ballet lesson
Anne in this tiny wasteland: you are not
the skin-roughened immigrants of your parents
but the weightless ballerina you once were
before the fluidity of time arrived with folding arms.
Anne-Therese of 1930: your slender frame, your white dress,
your rounded fiery cheek and falling laugh
behind your hands—
you called your father “ojciec,”
tripped home barefoot with white-gloved hands,
scolded the brazen boys who tried to kiss you,
the shy red of your mouth.
Pretty Anne, they took your son from you.
They took your son with his teasing eyes,
his way of tearing up the stairs,
the curling writing in the margins of his books.
They took your husband, the baseball player—
his wry grin, his small red comb upon the sink,
that luminous look, that reaching, open stare.
They took his hand, so light, that touched your cheek,
his very height, and the way he spoke:
the gruff tenderness of your name, the name you gave to me.
Anne making dinner—she is rattling the kitchen
like a gypsy’s bracelets, her liquid hands filled with spoons,
her linoleum beveled with scuff marks.
Beautiful Anne, the heavy-footed empress
showing me ballet positions in the kitchen.
Her feet are twisted. Her splayed hips move to Fifth
and she offers the slow, shy smile that I
inherited. Her broken body is like a fine piano untuned.
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©2005
Randy Brooksall rights return to the authors upon publication.
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